Please, please, please, let me get what i want
by Star-crossed-eyes
Summary: A short one shot about heartbreak and loving the enemy. He didn't understand how it could have happened...if Spock hadn't of found out, he'd be dead. KirkXoc


**I don't really know why I wrote this…I just did, I tried to put a lot of emotion in it, what they were feeling was really important. While writing this the inspiration was 'Please, please, please, let me get what I want.' By the Lancaster Orchestra****, I listened to it whilst writing and I think you should while your reading this, I personally think it makes it more emotional. Hope you like it. **

Please, please, please, let me get what I want.

"LIAR!" He shouted, he was shaking, pure anger running through his veins as he glared at her with eyes like fire. She looked so shocked; her eyes flickered, her eyes beginning to burn with an unknown feeling.

"James," she whispered, panic in her voice as her emerald eyes pleaded with him; she herself was shaking "Please I-"

"You what?!" He said sharply, she'd never seen him with his much emotion… hurting so much, because of her.

"I d-didn't plan this happening, I…" she trailed off avoiding his eyes,

"Didn't plan what?" he said, his voice now sounding like it was breaking "Didn't plan us happening? Well it did! And now…now…" he shook his head, sighing slightly, he felt like his very soul had been ripped out "Tell me," he whispered, gritting his teeth "Tell me how it happens…falling for someone your supposed to kill?" her eyes rose slowly to his, still flickering,

"Heart breaking." She said after a long pause "You don't understand…" she stood from her crouched position on the floor, "What I am," she whispered shaking her head "It's…evil and I know," she closed her eyes and sighed "And I used to be able to do this, no problem." She said displaying her hands in front of her "These hands are…killers I guess," She then took a step towards him, only one keeping eye contact with him "But you," she said with a slight frown "You did something, something that made me…forget my job."

"Oh good," he said sarcasm, his eyes like daggers again

"No, you don't understand!"

"I know! If I did we wouldn't be here!!" He shouted, his voice getting louder,

"James listen to me!" She cried, her eyes widening "You made me rethink everything, you started being the only thing I ever thought about, the only thing that made me happy! Do you know what that's like? I have never," she shook her head, her eyes still on him "Felt that way before, every time I saw you, you…you…" she frowned gently, not being able to understand herself "You did something to me…and I don't care if this sounds like it should belong in an old movie! I don't!" She said taking another step towards him "I don't want my life any more…" she paused her breath catching in her throat "I want you." He swallowed looking at her

"I…I can't trust you," he said shaking his head and backing away slightly "I really can't."

"Please don't do this," she pleaded, shaking her head and feeling the tears well up in her eyes "Please, please don't!" Then she was crying, he could hear it, he frowned,

"Y-you don't cry," he said staring at her as if it was the weirdest thing he'd ever seen. Even if what he'd learned knowing her, wasn't actually her, if he knew anything, he knew she didn't cry, he _knew_ it. She brought her hands to her eyes and wiped the tears away and looked at them in confusion,

"Your right…" she looked up at him "I don't." she looked just as surprised as he did, her training had ensured her to drop all emotion, crying was defiantly something that didn't happen in her life.

"I don't even know you do i? It was all just a lie." She shook her head, her eyes wide

"No! No, you knew me James! The real me!" she exclaimed "Please don't do this…" she whispered, it was now as he looked at her that he realised just how beautiful she really was, she was so defenceless and so…so small.

"I have to…" he said walking backwards, his eyes wide as his back hit the wall,

"No," she gasped slightly, a tear falling down her cheek "James I need you," she said it as if it was so obvious and another tear fell from her cheek as she looked at him. He pressed the button by the door, letting it hiss open. He began to walk out, he had his back to her and she took her chance, she ran at him.

He suddenly felt a pair of arms around him, holding him, her head on his back, her small arms wrapped around his body, he closed his eyes, letting the feeling soak through him, letting himself remember it for a second. Then he looked up, letting himself be captain again…being distant to anything else, he took himself out of her arms and walked to the cell door and did not look back.

She stood in the middle of the cell, the door hissed shut as she looked after him, her eyes flickering with more tears and she took in a sharp breath and then another. She felt her legs collapse beneath her, so she was now kneeling on the floor, she sat for a moment, her eyes wide, her body shuddering and trying to take in what had just happened.

And then it came, the tears spilling down her cheeks, the physical pain as she cried, her palms went to her eyes and she hunched over, almost rocking herself. Then she hit the floor, again and again and again, blood coming to her knuckles, pounding the concrete floor as if it was nothing more than a piece of meat. Anger coursing through her veins and not at him, at herself, she'd fallen in love with someone she really wasn't meant to, someone off limits, a target. She curled up then, sobbing gently, so many emotions running through her as she lay in the charcoal grey circular room. The only light coming from the light at the top of the cell, one she could not reach, it felt like everything had left her…everything was gone and she, she was alone.

"Please…" she whispered into the ground, more tears falling from her cheeks "Please, please…let me get what I want…" so she laid there, heart broken and confused and all she wanted was him, James T. Kirk, the beautiful captain to hold her…and never let go.


End file.
